Meeting skills: sit where the leader can see you

A young woman recently complained to me that her manager never seemed to notice when she had a point to make at a meeting. In further discussion, I found out she was making two mistakes.

1. She always sat in an area to the right of the leader, who happened to be her boss. When he looked up, she was never in his line of vision. If you want to be asked for your opinion, sit where the leader can see you—preferably right in his or her line of sight.

2. She raised her hand and waited for permission to speak. Well first, if he couldn't see her, how could he notice she had her hand up? Second, sitting with your hand in the air and being ignored makes you look like a student in school—and gives you just about as much power. If she is consistently ignored, she needs to raise her hand and simultaneously say, "Excuse me, Don, may I comment on that?"

Although these problems are not confined to women, it is true that more women than men have them. Women tend to listen well, and that's a good attribute, but if you sit at meetings and don't speak up confidently to make your point, men will think you are passive and weak. Then they are even less likely to listen to your ideas, so it becomes a vicious circle.

Sit where the leader can see you, and speak up confidently!